The Don’s Blog…

Finally, for the first time in American history, we have an African American president.  No more 3/4-aged white men using the White House Throne for their own personal pleasure.  It’s time to usher in a new era with a president that claims to do things different.  Oh yeah, they all did that didn’t they?  But this one might do something the others didn’t do… actually do what he says.

So what do we do now that we have our first black president sitting his tookus in the Oval Office?  It’s time to save the picture of the electoral votes map to your desktop and determine which states are going to be full of enraged rednecks Hell-bent on resurrecting the 150-year-old-prophecy that “the South’s a-gonna rise ageen”.

HINT: The red states are the ones that are gonna be the ones with the lowest IQ’s and tooth count.

I’m from Tennessee, so I can pretty much see where this is going.  But don’t get pissed off just yet, my black friends.  It would have been just as bad if a woman had been elected.  How could I possibly know this?  Every president before Obama is has been a middle-aged white man.  As the great Dr. House says, symptoms never lie.

I got online right after election when they starting posting his election speech on Youtube and Myspace Video, and was not surprised to see several people posting the most ridiculous crap about him.  I even saw this one white guy throwing up the West Side sign, leaving comments like “WhErE’s Hiiitler when U need Himh?”  Yeah, those Myspace douchebags spell like that.  And all I can think is that if Hitler did come back, the white kid throwing up gang signs would probably be on his kill list.

I agree with Obama, it is time for change.  I’ve never been proud to be American, because there is no America.  There is a piece of land that we took and sat down on, but without us, it wouldn’t have a name.  We came along and called it America, before that it was simply called Mother Earth.  Yeah, I sound like a greener right now.  The point I’m trying to make is that when we come along and destroy everything, form a government that’s sole purpose is complete control, and make the rest of the world hate us, it’s time to see if we can’t do something different.  The last few hundred years of antibiotics didn’t cure this infection, so it’s time to see if a new drug will work.

I recieved a call shortly after the election from my dear Mumsy, who told me that they were expecting rioting from the white population in Atlanta.  Which isn’t really a riot if there are less than 10 members.  That’s more like a crowd.  But that’s just the beginning.  Wait until Obama brings the troops home to their families, or as the Bush Administration call it; Admitting defeat.  Today we made history in the White House, now we’ll see the stupidity and terror of White America.

That being said, I am all for Obama.

“Edgar Frog. Surfboard shaper. Vampire hunter.” Corey Feldman has resumed his role as the vampire killer hated by everyone equally in the original Lost Boys. Only this time, instead of running a comic book shop with his brother, he is living alone in a small mobile home that he shapes surfboards in. Is this a tribute to Lost Boys, or a total sacrilege. Either way, it went straight to video. Usually not a good sign.

In Lost Boys: The Tribe, Chris (American Pie: Band Camp’s Tad Hilgenbrink) and his sister Nicole (Autumn Reeser) move to Luna Bay, California after Chris is kicked out of surfing for destroying another surfer’s knee. They move into their bitchy Aunt’s guest house.

In an interview with MTV, Corey Feldman said, “Once again, you have a fish-out-of-water story of two young folks who move into a new town to visit their relatives and find themselves caught up with a bunch of bloodsuckers. I really like the script because it is very close and very true to the structure of the original film — same kind of scares, same kind of laughs, same kind of relationships.”

Late one night Chris runs into a famous ex-surfer named Shane (Angus Sutherland, brother of Keifer), who invites him to a party at his house. Chris and Nicole go to the party, only to find that it’s a gang of vampires, and Shane is the leader. One of the vampires turns out to be the guy who’s knee Chris smashed. Shane decides to take Nicole as his mate in order to seduce Chris into joining the gang.

Edgar Frog, after bashing Nicole in the head back at Chris’s house, tells him his sister is a vampire, and they will have to go after Shane and his friends. So reluctantly, Chris agrees and they devise a plan to rid Luna Bay of it’s vampires once and for all. There is even a small appearance by Corey Haim as his original character, Sam.

I was amazed to find this movie was actually quite good. I had fun watching it, and it brought back a lot of memories from my childhood. The story really is pretty close to the original, yet has distanced itself quite a bit. There will probably be a lot of slanderous people saying that this is horrible movie, and that it never should have been made, it was nothing like the original. And I say GOOD! If I wanted to watch the original, I would break out my limited edition VHS and watch it. I wanted to see a sequel. If you can’t handle the fact that in movies and real life, things change, then maybe you should just stay at home and hide in your closet.

My verdict? The Lost Boys: The Tribe was a very good movie. It was true to form, had plenty of the old-school action mixed with newer CG stunts. I don’t believe that a better sequel for this movie could have been made. The only thing I ask? Please, for the love of the two Coreys, don’t do a Goonies 2… And WTF is with all these Sutherlands playing in vampire movies? Keifer in Lost Boys, Angus in Lost Boys 2, Donald in the Buffy movie. Damn.

USELESS FACT:

Plans for a sequel to The Lost Boys had been in varying stage of development since the release of the original film. Director of the original film Joel Schumacher had wanted to do a sequel called The Lost Girls before the announcement of The Tribe, a film in which he has no input in and does not believe should be made. In addition, a script called Lost Boys: Devil May Cry was also considered.

May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008

I woke up this morning to a piece of news that would shock any fan of old-school humor.  George Carlin, the man who made it necessary to censor television, died last night from heart failure at the age of 71.  Carlin, who had a history of heart trouble, went into St. John’s Medical Center in Santa Monica on Sunday afternoon complaining of chest pain and died later that evening.  He had performed as recently as last weekend at the Orleans Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas.

Carlin was most widely known for his “Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV” routine.  When they were played on air at a NYC radio station, it resulted in the Supreme Court’s 1978 ruling that the government should be allowed to control what we hear and see.

“So my name is a footnote in American legal history, which I’m perversely kind of proud of,” he told The Associated Press earlier this year.

He produced 23 comedy albums, 14 HBO specials, three books, a couple of TV shows and appeared in several movies. Carlin hosted the first broadcast of “Saturday Night Live” and noted on his Web site that he was “loaded on cocaine all week long.”

He won four Grammy Awards, each for best spoken comedy album, and was nominated for five Emmy awards. On Tuesday, it was announced that Carlin was being awarded the 11th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

Carlin’s first wife, Brenda, died in 1997. He is survived by wife Sally Wade; daughter Kelly Carlin McCall; son-in-law Bob McCall; brother Patrick Carlin; and sister-in-law Marlene Carlin.

George, I don’t know if they have the internet in the afterlife yet, but I’m sending this one out to you.  You have inspired my unruly sense of humor since I first caugh your act as a kid.  I feel privledged to have once shaken your hand and seen you perform your art live.  Your filthy mouth will live on forever, my friend.