Jul 05 2008
El Pato Archives for June
Something’s rotton in the state of EGM
I didn’t want to post my thoughts on this until I got some more info, but unfortunatly scuttlebutt is hard on the subject.
If you didn’t hear the news, Dan Hsu, former EIC of Electonic Gaming Monthly stepped down citing that he was pretty much burnt out and needed a vacation. He wasn’t EIC when resigning, he was editorial director. Shortly thereafter, Crispin Boyer announced he was leaving as well.
For those of you who have good memories, Crispin has been at EGM the longest (to my knowledge) surpassing even Shoe. I remember Crispin from the days of Quest 64, I was 14. Someone wrote in about how Crispin had completed the game too fast and that it was supposed to be longer, Crispin showed his game save and everyone shut up.
First Shoe, then Crispin, somthing’s up. What do I think? I think past demons have come back to haunt EGM. For one thing Shoe took a lot of heat for his comments regarding other magazines getting paid a flat fee by game publishers to showcase their game on the front cover…without giving out any names (a real journalistic no-no). This basically had half the country calling bullshit and the other half wondering which magazine he was talking about.
What’s going on down at Ziff Davis? No one knows, but when the two editors that have been there the longest are all the sudden getting out, it sounds like a tide is either coming or already came.
Mielke is actually a pretty good person, I met him years ago by accident and it was only for a few minutes, I doubt he remembers it. I was all like a kid meeting a rock star. He should do the magazine good, it isn’t like EGM is going down, but expect there to be some changes to those of you who read it regulary.
Jun 23 2008
The Wrath of El Pato
It’s good to finally be back. The Wrath is here kiddies! It’s a short one, I know, but the itch to write a column turned into a throbbing pain that I just couldn’t get rid of, so short or not, let’s make fun of the industry.
Sorry about my absence. Between moving, game playing, and job hunting, I just didn’t have the hour and a half needed to write a column, you all forgive me right? I HAVE been recently playing Lost Odyssey though. That game is pretty good storyline wise. Game design wise-not so much. I am into the story, but the load times and archaic combat system will probably keep me from ever playing it again. Chrono Trigger’s battles were more with the times than this thing. Seriously, what ever happened to ATB battles? Bring those back, these dumb turn based affairs are just boring. I like JRPG’s but not this stuff that’s been ran into the ground.
But then there is the main bad-guy: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is how you make a video game villain. Not some whiny overly Vice-ish bitch like Final Fantasy XII’s Vayne. They made the bad guy here really compel you to want to beat his ass! A lot of games nowadays don’t make me want to do that. I could have cared less if I fought Vayne in FFXII.
Anyone remember Kefka? Or Sephiroth? How much did we want to kick those two scumbag’s asses? Pretty bad. I couldn’t wait to get to Kefka’s tower with everyone to open up a can. And Sephy pissed me off so much with the whole Aeris thing that I was LEVELING just to beat him so quick. Or even Liquid Snake? When you played Metal Gear Solid, I know EVERYONE wanted to just beat the living tar out of that piece of crap. Villains are just so bland now *mumble*.
NEWS CRAP
I read that Germany is planning to have game demos in department stores turned off during school hours because too many kids are becoming truant and watching/playing them.-
-Wait a second, kids are skipping school and playing arcade games? And they just want to order them turned off during school hours? What the F*ck? Yeah, by all means let’s not just grab a phone and call parents telling them their kids were truant because they went to play video games-that would make sense.
So what about everyone else that is killing time on their lunch break or day off? They are supposed to just go along with it? Come on! Let’s not go straight to the source, let’s not ground those kids or give them a strict talking to about being truant. Are the teachers watching the school? Are they watching kids leave? What kind of teachers does Germany have? Feel free to pop a 5 hour energy drink in you if you are falling asleep when school kids are walking off campus.
While we’re at it, lets ban all TV on school hours-the kids could go home to watch it. Or let’s ban any soccer games that are during school hours, those are big things and people skip school to watch those, BAN THAT SH*T! Man, and you thought America was f*cked up.
Germany, I have the perfect person to litigate this bill for you. He goes by the name of Jack Thompson, hire him and take him off our hands.
I am not surprised that Street Fighter IV is going super-multi platform. Kudos to Capcom for trying to figure out how many consoles to bring the game out to. Anyone remember when Super Nintendo was the only way to get SF? Then Championship edition came to the 3-button Genesis? Nice to have all the games at a time, but it is weird that it’s news. Capcom isn’t stupid enough to make a game like that not go multi-platform, there are too many fighting game fans nowadays, and Capcom learned their lesson with Street Fighter III (not counting the remakes, the original only was on Dreamcast).
Speaking of Capcom, they supposedly want to find new franchises to make movies with. How about Bionic Commando? You already have the delayed remake, the brand new installment, why not a movie? That storyline would be PERFECT for a movie. Think! All the action with the Neo Nazis (err Badds), the bionic arm, the storyline is just the right length, this is the best opportunity for a movie. But they will make another Resident Evil rehash I bet.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don’t think Metal Gear Solid III is going to sell PS3’s. While I may buy mine for it, it isn’t going to get the gaming masses to buy the system. Despite what Sony may have you think, everyone who was going to buy a PS3, has pretty much bought one. Granted, there will be a small spike in hardware sales for MGSIII, but everyone has next genned’ their stuff as much as they felt. If they weren’t gonna buy a PS3 by now, well they probably aren’t ever.
Like I said, there will be a small spike, but not much considerable. Just wait until E3 this year when Konami turns around and says that MGS III will be out for the 360 next year, trust me, that exclusive bullsh*t isn’t going to last. MARK MY WORDS!
Alright, since I am on the mind of villains, next week: The top 5 villains in video games. Send me some emails if you got a fav you want me to mention, I may give it some though. Later dudes!
If you need to get in touch with me, use the above email address and I will respond ASAP
Pato comments on non-video game related things
Jun 23 2008
I HAVE INTERNET, and El pato’s new project.
It was a long time in coming, but I now have steady access to the internet. I also have a new place! I’m pretty much back. YAY!
In other news, I’ll start posting stuff to my blog on this, but for now I’ll put it here. Since i can’t get a job writing about games and making a living off it…I got a better idea.
Part of the reason it took me awhile to get net was because I started a project I wanted to firmly get grounded in before I had distractions. Now around 100 pages in, I think I can be distracted again.
THE GAMER: twenty years of growing up with video games.
I basically did a non-fiction account of being a hardcore gamer and growing up with Nintendo and Sony and everything in between. The mario cartoon, The Wizard, Mortal Kombat controversy, everything. Since I started gaming when I was five, I figured I was the right age when all this happened. The book (tentativly) will chronicle gaming starting at 1987 and end roughly in 2003/2004, when I turn 20 and the Hardcore Gamer crew from Eagle Idaho has their last Game trip together before being seperated for good (and when college took over my life). I put this here right now because while I got a good 6-8 months of editing/finishing the damn thing, if anyone knows a good publisher or agent that would be interested in helping me get this to a national level (within reason) PM me. It’s a hilarious book with few insights into the industry at certain points (buying a N64 and then 4 months later being pissed that FFVII wasn’t coming for it, doh!) It’s got a great antagonist (my step-mom makes a good villian ) and, well, I’m stoked!
Until then, I get to be Alan and Trisha’s bitch for another few years
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